


The Letter

by magos186



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: Episode: S3e15 Who Died and Made You King?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:20:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magos186/pseuds/magos186
Summary: After the argument with Maria and the ensuing fight with Max, what if Michael gave up and decided to leave?





	The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Roswell fic. I've been rewatching it lately and couldn't help but write this after seeing Michael's face at the end of Who Died and Made You King. If anyone's still reading Roswell fics, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I do not consider this anti-Maria or anti-Max. It was not written with that intention, but it is a bit depressing.
> 
> Brief mention of the events in S3e8 Behind the Music.

Maria stretched her arms above her head before rolling onto her stomach and sticking her hands under her pillow. Her intention was to get more sleep, instead she woke fully when she felt something crinkling. She pulled the offensive object out from under the pillow and sat up. It was an envelope with her name written in Michael’s distinctive scrawl. 

_It better be an apology_ she thought to herself, recalling the previous night’s events. She opened it to find several pieces of paper. The first page was a short note. It was not addressed to anyone specific, but after reading it, she knew it was meant for Max. 

_When everything happened with Hank, I told you I was leaving. You refused to say goodbye. You told me that no matter how far I went I’d always have you and Isabel, that we’d always be connected. As I was riding away from town that night, holding onto the stones, listening to some guy go on and on about what a freak show Roswell is, I realized you were right. No matter what we found out about who we were, why we were left behind, why we were here, it didn’t change the fact that the two of you were my family. You’re still my family and always will be, but we’re not connected. Not anymore. I don’t know if we ever could be again._

She set that page to the side, a sinking feeling of dread setting in. The next page was addressed to her and she couldn’t prevent the tears from falling once she started to read it. 

_Maria,  
_

__

_I’m leaving. After everything that’s happened the past few months, I really have no reason to stay. We both know I’m not good with talking or feelings in general but I’m gonna take a page out of Liz’s notebook and give this writing thing a shot. I was always a loner. I had no reason to get close to anyone and I’d never met a decent enough person to want to get close to them. Max and Isabel were different. They were family. I was always jealous of them because they found peace. They found a place where they were happy and loved and they forgot everything else. Not me. I never had that. I never knew peace in this life and all I wanted was to go home, wherever home was. I felt like no one could understand me. The Evans sure as hell didn’t. Then I stole your car. You climbed in instead of just letting me take it. You were so scared of me, but you jumped in the car anyway. That was definitely the most interesting road trip of my life. When we stopped for the night and you told me what you did about your dad, I thought that there was at least one person in the world who got it. You were so different from anyone I’d ever met and I couldn’t stand you because you made me feel things. You opened yourself up to me and I still don’t know why. I was never going to be “perfect boyfriend material” like Max. I’m not him. I don’t know how to be romantic or spontaneous or openly show my feelings. It was the little things that showed you I cared. You are the only person I have ever opened up to. You know things about me that no one else ever did. When I had the chance to leave, to go home, I stayed here. I stayed for you because you were my home. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone the way I loved you. You were the first person, the only person, to take care of me because you wanted to, because you cared about me. It wasn’t an obligation, it was a choice. You chose me out of everyone else and I hate you for that._

_I hate you because you made me a person, made me human. Before I met you, I was a robot. I ran on anger and mistrust. I refused to form attachments because they made you weak._ You _made me weak. I opened up to you. I gave you everything that I am and you threw me away. I shouldn’t be surprised. There is no happy ending for me. Back when I was trying to find home, I left a message for the one I thought would hold all the answers. He didn’t come. I told Isabel that no one ever comes for me. I was right. What happened with your…_ friend… _it had nothing to do with it being a bad time and everything to do with me trying to hold on to you. I’d felt you slipping away for weeks before that. It’s why I tried to change so much, to make myself better for you. I shouldn’t have bothered._

_I’m leaving Roswell after I drop this off. I sent a letter to Mr. Parker and left a note for my friends from Meta-Chem. Like I said, I have no reason to stay here anymore. It hasn’t felt like home for a while now. I’ve only ever had three connections keeping me here. After last night, things with Max will never be the same. We can’t go back to what we were before. Isabel and I used to be close, but she drifted away from me a long time ago. Ever since the pregnancy scare our relationship changed and we were just coasting along. When Alex died, she broke and we haven’t been the same since._

_The last connection I had keeping me in this place was you. But you didn’t want me anymore. I asked you a question years ago, but you never answered me. I asked you if I’m such a loser, why did you want to be with me? I guess I finally got my answer. You don’t. You just used me to keep yourself close to the group. You got me to open up, to feel things, and then you took my heart and turned it to dust, just like the flowers I brought you that night. You’re right. We’re not linked anymore. You can go pursue your dreams because I won’t be in the way of them. Even if you changed your mind and decided you wanted to be with me again, I couldn’t do it. It took every ounce of courage and strength I had to let you in the first time. And I love you more than anything in this world, but I will never trust you again. Not after the way you left me._  


_So goodbye Maria. Share this with the others, don’t share it with them, I don’t care anymore. I can’t be here anymore. I can’t breathe. There’s a short note attached to this for_ his majesty. _The apartment’s paid for until July and help yourself to whatever’s left behind. Do what you want with it all, keep it, sell it. I have everything I need in my bag. If I’ve left anything behind, it doesn’t mean anything to me. Not anymore.  
_

__

_~Michael_

__


End file.
